My penis is the apex of life and all other references. Lookin for a cheap vagina at this point. And cheap Korean BBQ
I just googled "buy xanax online". What is wrong with my life?
The camp director doesn't care if we drink and i'm running the rifle range. Someone is going to get sued.
Mr. Clingalot just ran from our apartment. What the hell?
I started to cry afterward and mumble random things. Examples: "God, please don't make me be so gay anymore" and "my mom is going to be so proud of me for fucking a dude this time." It was that or let him stay the night and cuddle. I mean, fuck that horrible shit I'm a girl that needs her space.
hey fuckhead. when i said not to grow shrooms in our apartment, that didn't mean "yea, sure. grow shrooms in our apartment"
I'm ordering a French maid costume for my dog too. It's like a couples costume, except for losers with dogs.
Reading an example in the GRE study book referencing Teenage Mutant Ninja Turtles while wearing TMNT pajamas. *airfist*
omg please tell me you're eating pizza right now too.
Can you please come and collect your boss off of my kitchen floor.
And by pregame I mean drink heavily and watch Russian dash cam car crash vids
It's hot as dicks out. Lets get drunk on the roof and make pterodactyl sounds at people.
This time tomorrow I'll be fingering you
Oh shit a waiter was leaning over me when i opened that and i felt him pause
Any man who can do squats while fucking you is a man worth keeping.
I think I'm pregnant again.
or as we call it, thursday.
I just wanted to personally thank you for throwing clementine slivers at me across the room while we made out
If my drunken penis pic is ever to be forgiven id like to start over with all that
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