Do you think if I drink bleach they will let me leave work?
He can hate all he wants but were fucking with these crocs on
I dunno... she just cried a lot and I kept sighing.
i just watched a video of two girls fucking with a banana and i thought of you.
i hate you
I think my plan to not drink this week was just ruined by my mothers discovery of the chat function on facebook
She was so happy she found her sunglasses, that she blew me. Im now randomly hiding things of hers in hopes she'll find them and I'll get a repeat performance.
I'm coming over to use your dick. I need to take my aggression out on something. Hope that's cool.
It's a line of coke at 10 a.m. kind of Saturday. Don't be a pussy about life.
I had to throw a towel over the bottles cuz it hurts to look at them
I was puzzled last night that there were shots waiting for us when we got there. Just read my messages and saw you were ordering from the bar via texts.
I have 4 passes to the spa here, walking around with a robe on and putting cucumber slices on my penis. You guys should come hang out here. It's very relaxing
wouldn't be a true Fourth of July without dropping acid at 9pm on a Monday
FREEDOM
There I was, puking into the toilet, and he was rubbing my feet, buck naked. I feel like a drunk Disney princess.
Calm down I'm not kidnapping the bartender
Let me get this straight. You stopped mid foreplay to shave your legs?
Um yeah. I wasn't about to shave them if nothing was happening. And I have HBO. It's not like he's the victim here.
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