I may have discovered that porn hub is on my top visited sites during class this morning.
Then I received a text in French, that roughly translated to "all you'll ever be good for is sex on the Internet"
Desperately trying not to throw up over the side of the ferry back to CT. Can't be the first one of the season.
you asked my brother if you could eat the cupcake that you found. you were showing him a baked potato
If for no other reason than to cuddle with that puppy, you have to hook up with him again.
Monday is now my bitch. I just did 20 naked push ups on the bar for $20
Well at least the house will be decorated when u get evicted.
Favorite thing said to me in 2012: It's like you have two tongues!
Were you keeping a list?
Like will they card me for my own whiskey in shampoo bottles?
"He didn't answer my snap so I know he's arrested"
I have like three friends I don't have sex with, what did you expect
It was great. He never spoke.
That's not why it was great, just that's all I remember.
My new superpower is making fuckboys disappear!
Bending dicks and egos since 2002
Just found out my dad smokes weed too. Mom, grandma, all aunts and uncles, and now my dad too. It's like I'm genetically engineered to be a stoner.
How is there a hawk inside this house? More importantly how the hell is he handling it without any gear?
Randomize
