So I have $4.22 in my bank account, just wrote a check for a tooth brush from quikmart, and bought a 25 cent condom from the bathroom. i don't know whats more sad, my bank account or the fact that i'm entrusting my entire future to a condom machine that was probably last filled in 1970
I convinced her san diego was a state. all the proof I needed was saying, why do they call it san diego state university?
tonight lets celebrate not being married
Yeah I'm about to go down a waterslide that comes out a 2nd story window. I love college.
this islike a room full of reasons why i should be in prison
Got a thumbs up from a trucker for doing lines on the interstate. God bless america.
Found our threesome girl. She says I'm pretty. She doesn't know I'm pregnant. Yet. Think we can pull it off?
So I pull up to an apartment complex and immediately felt like I was here to get stoned.
Do you think I shall pursue this journey to the center if the dick?
Sorry, I was watching the Olympic story about the Canadian guy and drinking out of the prescription bottle and crying because it was so beautiful.
Dude he's moving to fucking Germany now. What is it about your vagina that makes men want to flee the continent?
Do you want me to add this to the list of actions I will state at your intervention
I'm experimenting with sincerity
The batteries in my vibrator died before I could finish. Which is a lot like my sex life lately......
Going to give your dick a friendship bracelet.
Randomize