and in the morning, while we were eating breakfast, she was all " i think someone sneezed into my shirt..." she'll never know.
I was so high i believed someone when they told me le moyne beat syracuse
Im am drinking whisky alone in my parents basement. I think I just watched the point of no return stroll by.
The words "my birth control fell out" should never be spoken
It's shit like that that makes me wish being deaf was contagious
woke up this morning in the hall outside of my parents room with a sign taped to myself that said "im sorry"...
I don't have any swimsuits that don't show off the weird handprint bruises on my hips. Do you have a onepiece I can borrow?
All I've eaten today is cookie dough, pecan pie and three shots of jack. Finals week here I come.
Mother fucker, I knew it was bad when you tried making out with my car window
you kept saying "i will not *breathe* regret this *breathe* in the morning *breathe* i just gotta remember *breathe* to BREATHE"
Definitely just threw up in a mcds cup going through Wendy's drive thru. I'm way to hungover to go to work today
Completely unrelated and mildly related, a guy I hooked up with last year in a threeway died, his obit photo was his Grindr photo
There is a couple fucking in the outback bathroom and at first I thought it was sick but than I remembered my Outback fantasy with you and decided I can't pass judgements.
How do you make a Facebook status saying how much you fucking hate yourself without being aggressive enough for people to worry about your safety
Cuz that's where I'm at
I was trying to sext but got a notification that my dad and professor both commented on my Facebook photo. Bad timing.
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