so I'm never txting u again after today...
y?
cuz i don't wanna see it on blogspot :)
ha...too late
I'm at the bar and I just saw some unnecessary and accidental cooter...sometimes I think girls need a license to go out pantyless in public.
As a pleasant surprise..I woke to find a Burrito and Bottle of Gatorade .....Merry XMAS to ME
He just ordered a bottle of Beam at an Italian place for us to share.
Im in the bathtub drunk. Less than an hour before the interview. This will be the best or worst career move ever., support?
By the end of the first quarter he was so hammered he was pouring beer into the crockpot with the miniature hot dogs and BBQ sauce saying he loved the supper bowl and he loves taking mini weinies to the face
True friends don't judge, they just try to have more booty calls than you do.
If you get home and there is an older woman there, its my mom. She wants to come and see the place after work. Just an FYI. Not the older sluts I bang.
So because I'm off tomorrow that means your dick could be in my mouth majority of that time
They're frat boys at heart and have sickly, dusty, rotting souls.
someone wrote my own number down on my hand and then call me.
He's unconstrained by sanity, physics, or his liver.
You pee in parking lots....i drive home naked.....thats the american dream i was promised
the cuervo was good, but I started with jello shots. and when i threw up a whole jello shot came out.
So... I sharted on the plane. It was hard to maintain my composure and acted offended at the same time. I hate you for not cutting me off last night.
Randomize
