I told him I had my daily dose of vitamin c so i wouldn't blow him
She was that classic mixture between "Hell no" and "Why the fuck not."
we did rock-paper-scissors to see who would find out if you had alcohol poisoning
I think making out with someone could be the cure to all my problems. That or more cowbell.
Going to an AA meeting just so I can fuck him...That's dedication
I'm gonna write a book one day about how to be the less attractive person girls settle for after getting dumped. I will send you a copy
I just learned how to imitate a trains smokestack. The downside is it makes you look like you ate cocaine. The upside is YOU LOOK LIKE A TRAIN
In the liquor store when a straight girl and a gay guy were just arguing about who hooked up with the same guy first.
I have a pair of clean panties in my purse. This is having your life together.
I mean I'm sad it didn't work out but tbh he he can't unlick my booty hole or unbreak his headboard... He won't forget my name ever
I will consider it. I need to determine if ogling him is worth almost certain death via zipline.
So what your saying is you dont remember trying to hit a golf ball off my chest with a 9 iron?
what a classic moment of my life. A buffet of taco bell and a taser gun.
You ran the halls of the dorm naked handing out condoms. You were the sex fairy. Best you can do if you're not getting laid.
I'd rather plunge my eyes out than acknowledge being related to either of my brothers
Randomize
