So #1 way to come back last night and #2 wishbone and I broke into his house and i opened joey's door and u were both passed out and pantless.
"Morning after" poops are always like, interesting.
i keep myself tagged when other girls look bad/ugly so i look better
I just walked into his bathroom to see two poops floating... no toilet paper. WTF!?
Ever have a poop and think... that has no business coming out of a human? Like it looks like a sick dog's or a ferral animal's?
he turned the pretty ricky playlist on. its about to go down.
You really realize what your life's become when you're sitting alone in the house crying in a santa hat and pjs getting stoned on christmas eve before noon.
He's tweaking out . If he's on fucking bathsalts and eats my face like a chalupa pull the plug. I don't want to live with no fucking face. Pull. The. Plug.
I'm two guys short from fucking the whole baseball team and one is gay. I will be successful by the end of this month.
The amount of precision it takes to urinate into a 2 liter bottle while hammered is undeniably difficult.
Bring a bathing suit and your good liver.
My good liver is still at the dry cleaners. Will my backup liver suffice?
Maybe
You realize that if you get murdered while we're talking, I'm gonna have to explain to your next of kin why the last thing on your phone is a picture of my boobs.
Would love to dress up in respectable attire and take you out somewhere nice and then do disgusting crude things in public
It's just not St. Patrick's Day until someone pukes on your panties.
Ugh. My life is a never ending cycle of bad decisions and taquitos.
Randomize