her nose should be used as a dorsal fin
I wish all the girls i wanted to sleep with knew how big my dick was then id have a better chance
Just met a girl...She is complaining why on facebook you can't have more then one "open relationship"
I dont know how i feel about her from a moral standpoint...
Heads up. We filled your kiddie pool with kool-aid and vodka. Things are about to get Out. Of. Hand. Quickly.
there was this guy running across campus barefoot in the pouring rain stepping in all the puddles. i want his life. and i want to be stripper.
I think we need to find a happy medium between fried food and dicks. This could end badly.
The lego bong didn't work. Just made us look stupid
I'm making myself a nametag with my contact info and pinning it to myself like a kindergardenter in case I get lost when I black out on Sat.
Can we laminate it? Just to be safe.
He made me eat donuts off his dick. donuts, jen. DONUTS.
You're obviously not trying hard enough. GET LAID. Kittens die for less.
Touche salesman.
Dude that's beautiful. I've never heard of someone smoking with their bunny.
I feel like I have a connection with him. A marijuana-induced-spiritual connection.
If I win the contest of drinking the most water I get a chicken nugget.
I say "glasses of whiskey" like I didn't chug it out of the bottle
Would it be weird to bake him a cake that says "sorry I peed on your bed"?
So, just how hungover are you?
Not at all, surprisingly.
That has to be your X-Men power.
Randomize
