i make up for being a shitty girlfriend by being amazing in bed.
Its a good thing the lights were off cuz Im pretty sure the look on my face when I touched his penis would have offended him
the spit in my mouth is still 99% not mine.
You refused to come over and kept yelling that you were gonna sleep on a car
I made a tournament bracket for the girls that Im talking with.
I really want to shower but i'm afraid i'll sober up. My mouth feels like a stripper pole too...
God she is annoying. I am only keeping her around on fb because I want to see if her baby comes out looking like an alien or not.
If we go out with the 22/23 year olds we should make t a double date. I don't want to endure the judging looks of the public as I rob the cradle alone.
At the gym and this really hot trainer checked me out and was talking to his buddy about his workout. He then says "yeah man, like I'm doing so many reps- what's 7 times 7, 45?"
He was THIS close.
You might have to deal with a coked up ex pan American gold medalist wrestler when you get back to the room
Blacked out drunk in California and woke up somewhere in Arizona, I'm pretty sure I got here on foot
He told me he wished he could shrink down to a small size so he could live inside my cleavage
For real his Facebook page says he studied "sexual arts" at some random college I've never heard of. You've been warned.
the only fun thing to do here is drink beer and make mistakes. i feel like im in college again
You have such a talent for this
Friendship, or finding weed?
Yes
Randomize
