After last night I still want u
But please keep that on the DL
I just spent the last 30 minutes shaving my asshole.
Why did you put hummus in my pillow case?
vaguely remember the bartender stopping me outside last night so he could pull the duct tape out of my hair
and then some norwegians asked us to be in their porno.
btw im using a cooler as a purse cause i love string cheese
you know who we are? We're the female white stoner version of Kenan and Kel.
So I have a scar from when the stripper tore off my underwear .... Best birthday ever
you guys just sat there and simultaneously smoked bowls staring at each other... it was like a bowl off or something.
I'm keeping track of how many times I've said "Shhh, act like you're not naked." in my life. So far, 3 times.
She's started this new thing where whenever she drives by random couples talking alone outside she yells "break up! this is your sign!"
What do I have to do?! Spell it out for him? Why can't he just plow me and pull my hair at the same time
You are my new hero
my grocery list today consisted of condoms. and butter.
umm... whats the butter for?
Um. I just realized I still have a beer in my purse from last night. I'm at work. I am so classy.
I just woke up with a cowboy hat on my face and a playboy from the 90s on my chest
Randomize
