I didn't realize he wasn't circumcised... it looked like the Unibomber...
you wanted the guy to gift wrap the condoms
I've never had a better reason to do blow of a Pittsburgh strippers ass than to try and keep pace with my dad.
We are two peas in an std pod
officially christened the dorm room by sucking my spilled drink off the floor. tastes like homee
Your lack of dedication to alcohol is forcing me to drink with my ex husband. U suck
So I found where you barfed in my house. Just wanted to let you know that my cat barfed on the kitchen floor in a show of solidarity
I rocked my own world, he was just a prop.
The problem with having a roommate is that you are forced to answer the age old question "Are you okay?"
He sent me a 2am email the just said "Ping". Nerdiest booty call ever.
Pro tip: if you can avoid puking on your carpet, do so. Cleaning it up is absolutely no fun at all.
He took my Spanx off and still fucked me twice. I call that success.
What happened last night? All I know is that I walked into class this morning and everyone was chanting my name.
Should I put the spider I likely swallowed in my sleep into my calorie tracker?
I have had flashes of 69ing, a strawberry flavored condom and begging him to sleep naked.
Randomize
