Nevermine. I'm just going to tell you on Myspace with a glitter graphic.
it was almost as awkward as hearing my parents on friday nights in 2 in the morning starting, and than hearing at 2:01 my dad getting up and my mom going "i should have married a man"
I hate myself for saying your mom and I have the same friday nights.
don't worry... so do I
it was my 21st birthday. took an old mans walker so i could stay till last call. reasonable right?
I'm drinking and throwing an enormous tennis ball at children. I couldn't be happier.
WHY AM I ALWAYS DEFEATED BY THE LATIN COCK?!?!
It's that "make a Pringle and Twinkie sandwich" kind of depression.
Dude if her licking my face hammered isn't love I don't really want to know what love is.
Thats Poetry
i seriously haven't spoken to him since i drunk dialed him and told him i loved his beard
thank you for being a reason not to completely check out of my life and start sleeping all day, crying all night, and living off vodka acquired through credit card debt
I grinded with the guy who brought the scooter, I'm leaving with success
So baked. About to eat a calzone then hate fuck this guy.
THAT'S MY GIRL
im watching blue is the warmest color at the music box and this dude is literally masturbating 3 feet in front of me
Is banging someone in the national guard considered a state service or a national one?
you can't just call dibs on my vagina bro.
The same idiot-bubble, now just bigger and louder.
Randomize
