you just broke rule number 1. If you can't lift her up don't date her
we were doing it doggy-style and i felt him pop that pimple on my back.I have mixed feelings about it
there are two kinds of girls in this world: my mom, and sluts.
I know it sounds like a good idea, but doing Spanish homework at a bar just because the owners are Mexican and they give us margaritas really wasn't the best decision.
I just want to make mistakes. Like stds that go away with antibiotics mistakes.
Well, I had a dudes gf walk in on us the next morning but nothing during...She shook my hand after I got dressed and said "nice to meet you with your clothes on" best moment of my life.
Yo if you blacked out last night, careful going through your purse. There's cocaine in a lollipop wrapper.
Someone drunkenly cleaned and organized my car last night... Nothing's missing, so that's a plus.
you did that thing you do when youre drunk where you rant about bruce springsteen, start hooking up with someone and then pass out midway through
You know you're hung over when the glare from the cream cheese on your bagel is just too bright...
She was chasing her shots with beefaroni and I think I fell in love.
I think we can say happy hour is successful when you have frosting and southern comfort in your hair.
Other than trying to finger me on the couch in the middle of the bar a few times, you were fine.
When your guy changes his swinger profile to include you. #makingprogress
If my vagina was a person it would have a bandage around its head and it's arm in a sling rn
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