normal stoners make pot brownies. gay stoners make pot chocolate covered cherries on a cinnamon graham cracker crust which by the way are very effective.
as veruca salt said, "i want it now!"
uhh im not your indulgent father, stoned and im in the middle of making tacos. right now, tacos win
yeah my mom told me she knows when i come home high because i use my turn signal while turning into the driveway...
Pretty sure I left lotion and my bra in your car. I've secured your fathers belief that your straight. You can thank me later
No He hasn't done that since the time he came in his own eye
Passed out in a rocking chair on her porch. Woke up to the tow truck taking away my car.
Craig, a bottle of Jamison, and I had a party on the roof last night. No idea how I got down. My injuries indicate fall...
I can't figure out if I'm dying from all of the booze still in my system, or from the cement wall.
I'll pay you to write the paper but not for sex. You should only get paid for something you work hard at.
My tweets this weekend consisted of me telling every bar I went to that they were my favorite valentine. I've never felt like more of an alcoholic
I'm going to miss hockey season. It was the best excuse to get drunk on a Tuesday night.
Somehow she talked me into getting my dick pierced, weird first date.
i made out with his shirt. MDMA, man.
stop texting me about your public sex.
says she who narrated getting eaten out in a movie theatre over text to me
Crazy homeless man drinking beer out of a vitamin water container on the bus just set me up on a date with the yuppie next to him
Randomize
