I just got a rly sharp new razor and was shaving down there...
and?
RIP clitoris
your dick doesn't do me any good in arizona
I can do anything tonight that doesnt involve an erection.
Hey, did you take me to hospital last night?
it is entirely possible that the police will be knocking on the door in 25 minutes
I thought my period ended but I felt it again as soon as Pitbull started playing
I'd rather be sodomized with a fullly decorated Christmas tree.
I got my first tattoo & injured myself while having sex in a national monument. I say we consider this weekend siezed.
No one parties "Full Karen". She once broke a couple up at the bar, ate the girl out in the bathroom and took the guy home.
Seriously just told the plant the cheese Pringles are mine.
He's over here like "remember those pics you sent me a couple years ago? Those were hot." And I'm like "remember talking about what we were gonna name our kids a couple months ago? That was hot." Therein lies the disconnect
Going overboard is basically 75% of my personality
I'm a gorgeous hot mess
A drunk and bleeding peter is knocking on your door... in nothing more than a sombrero, boxers and cowboy boots.
You can only use the "she handcuffed me naked to your bed, i couldn't do anything, sorry bro" excuse once.
You have a tempurpedic. you only have you to blame.
I'm pretty sure he sprained my clit...
Randomize
