A 21st bday and NYE should be illegal to have in the same week...
Because its an amazing idea and you're the only one I can think of that will allow a pirate threesome
now that we've slept with the entire soccer team i think its time to expand the horizon.
The guy in the next stall screamed courtesy flush and then puked. Bless you Vegas
I found the hair cut I want on the girl in the porno I'm watching. now really sure how to show my stylist.
He's dressed as a power ranger handing out cocaine
Do to my newly discovered condition I'm having to resort to emergency beat sessions to avoid the temptation to text girls I know are easy slams.
are we fucking for lunch or am I using my vibrator ?
Dude. Photoshop a Santa hat on your mug shot and send it as your Christmas cards.
He's wearing my bra and eating a breadstick while jumping on our bed.....
I never thought I would be saying these words but...when did David Spade get hot?
I snapchatted him nudes and he didn't screenshot a single one of them because he's a gentleman.
there is something very satisfying about getting tacos after hours of sex.
I called 911 when they kicked me out of the bar last night.
He referred to our sex as "an Olympic event." My tits are bruised.
Randomize
