I spent a large portion of the night trying unsuccessfully to keep hayley (who was wearing a dress and no underwear) from doing handstands, but yea it was fun. the boys had fun
Katie Perry lied, you can't just wake up and shake the glitter off your clothes.
I know this may seem inappropriate, but are you gonna bring any blow to the wedding?
Dude, had to, it's Canada Day, I fucked her for Canada. Seriously, I put my Canadian flag on my bed and fucked her on it.
If sitting in the car passing a flask back and forth because the bar we go to is having some power issues on Christmas eve isn't Christmas spirit, then I don't know is.
As part of the off-hours team building exercises, I had my new coworkers figure out to push me back to the hotel from the nearby bars in a shopping cart every night for a week.
I woke up with a stapler in my ass. Don't even complain to me.
And they have kittens that decided that boobs are apparently the best arena for king of the hill...
Wow it must be so difficult to be as popular as you are and smoke as much weed as you do
And thanks to you I'm pretty sure I'm banned from every qdoba in south carolina. And cab company
I never thought I would be saying these words but...when did David Spade get hot?
She's lucky her pussy is worth listening to her ramble about bedroom furniture for 30 minutes
I still hate everything and everyone around me. Krampus taught me nothing.
FUUUCK. sunburned vagina. this is the worst day ever. i'm not leaving my room until it peels.
Smoked a joint with mom, best Thanksgiving ever!
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