My alcohol tolerance is way too high for this paycheck.
No its cool, because I bought a handle of tequila earlier, in case things went south
I definitely paid for a case and a fifth and all I got was 6 beers and a crown and coke. Wtf. Bar math sucks
We haven't even scratched the surface on the damage we could do. Just saying
I think he was trying to tie my clitoris in a knot with his tongue. So awful.
He's gotta be able to drive a truck, make me mac n cheese and give me the best orgasms. That's my perfect man
Just puke out the sadness. Like a fuckin dragon.
I think that's why god made me a woman. Bc it's harder to slap people in the face with a vagina.
the problem is i have six tabs of acid in my freezer and no self control
I need someone to play with my boobs. Even platonically. I just need a good groping
i'm just really offended he didn't want to have breakup sex. like that was the only thing i was really looking forward to
So, then you thought it was a good idea to dress up like the Hamburglar, buy a bag full of McDonalds hamburgers, go to Burger King and throw them at everyone while screaming "HAMBURGLAR!". At that point there was no stopping you.
Is it something I'm going to want to hug you for or slap you for?
Keep two things coming: nudes and puppy pictures
So I ended the trip with two cold sores, poison ivy on my leg and vagina, and no alcohol or weed. WORST. 4TH. OF. JULY. EVER.
Randomize
