I found the seven page love letter I had written you. I'm sorry i was so obsessed.
Vegas for my brothers bachelor party. Just landed and I have a boner. I'm giggly and teary eyed I'm so excited.
Since you didn't call me back last night, I can only assume that in 9 months you're going to have a child that I'm going to refer to as, "Daddy's little mistake in Miami."
I just had the ultimate walk of shame. I'm barefoot, in his gym short with vomit in my hair and I walked half a mile through campus. At noon. Thanks for picking up ur phone
i was about to cum until he started doing shrek impressions.
the boys lacrosse roster just went up... now we can see who we had sex with
who started the 'put a scrunchy' around his balls' game?
Dude, you flipped off a cat from my balcony and yelled at it to get a house
Sometimes you just have to have sex for a Netflix password.
Also the fuck cup must be buried with me
He's pretending to be my boyfriend so that my family won't bother us when we sneak off to smoke weed
One of my favorite March activities is cropdusting people while wearing a kilt.
Tell me why i'm looking through my medical records and the last thing it said about my labor was 'vagina was explored'!?
I turn into such a nice and loving person when I take Vicodin
So, I think my BF has slept with several of our sorority sisters
Well, now that you know, yes he has. We didn’t say anything because you seemed so happy. He’s a great guy and none of us have any hard feelings, but yeah, we’re all very familiar with his penis and it’s talents
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