I'm think I may have given your ex's number to a convicted sex offender.
Win!
all we did was drink wine and talk about how people who dont have facebook dont exist.
she's in the bathroom. spitting in the trashcan. not throwing up. just spitting and singing bad romance by lady gaga.
thatta girl
dude, when you're random girl from last night came down the stairs this morning she fell all the way down. I laughed. She just walked out. I hope shes ok. Tell her I give her a 10 for that landing though.
She put baby oil on her toes and i am not legally allowed to talk about what happened
Someone just asked me if ur the girl that fell through the floor. I HAD to say yes.
I WILL STOP HOOKING UP WITH GUYS EX'S FOR REVENGE. I WILL STOP HOOKING UP WITH GUYS EX'S FOR REVENGE. I WILL STOP HOOKING UP WITH GUYS EX'S FOR REVENGE.
And by go well you mean everyone's hammered right?
Yupp. And someone's bleeding
Turns out I sent a dick pic to my sister's ex. Grindr is the devil's eharmony.
Oddly enough, the sex change dream i had made me miss you more.
Lol he touched my butt after his grad party and a shooting star went by. No kidding. My ass is mystical.
WHY HAVE SO MANY THING GONE IN MY BUTT ON THIS TRIP
How am i even supposed to meet his daughter? "Hi, Claire, I hear we have so much in common, like we both love your Dad and also we're almost the same age."
They both showed up at the same time... to surprise me. One had flowers and the other had chocolates. Needless to say, I will be at the bar all weekend long trying to figure out how this happens.
HAMMERED.. I made a peanut butter and jelly sandwich with toilet paper instead of bread...
Randomize
