i don't care who i fucked last night, until im at 43plus im not considering myself slutty
maybe we can find two twins tonight and bang them together and then my life is complete
he's from indiana, of course he's clueless about "g-spots"
Blackout me just wants to pee on sober me's dreams. Literally.
Don't. You get on the 18 year old. I'll get on the 38 year old. Together we will bridge 2 decades of cock.
this lady just pulled corn on the cob out of her purse
People like that make this world a better place.
I don't even fuck like that, he just happened to be in the right place at the right drunk.
We smoked a bowl in front of the abortion clinic shouting Obama at the protestors.
If I get aids I am starting a lawsuit against snapchat.
Our DD has become famous. Strippers are asking to be handcuffed to him.
SHUN THE NONBELIEVERS. THUS SAYS THE NIPPLE LORD
You also once spent an entire hour explaining the origin of the strip steak to me.
" my drug dealer just stopped by and did an elmo impression for my 2 year old nephew."
She is 6 months pregnant and gets more action at bars than I do.
It's not even 7 yet. She's singing you are my sunshine to the smirnoff bottle.
Randomize
