and she's shaped like a lego person so that's not happening
new call of duty comes out in november. guess im not passing my finals
People are handing out olympic condoms downtown, just put it on and it broke, this is how there trying to raise the population. Very sneaky canadian government, very sneaky
She is the perfect woman. She cooks, gives good head and doesn't care that I have a small penis.
facebook friend requested him the morning after while he was still asleep in my bed, a whole new level of creeper even for me
Watching dad use Doritos to illustrate exactly where to locate the clitoris. How's your family christmas going?
Eberyones makin fun of me cuz I found a snail and caught him and put him in a bocks for u
So this 40 year old woman was trying to bring me into the bathroom to blow me and the bartender called the cops on her because she was showing her tits. Only in asbury.
I have tan lines from my nipple rings.
Wait do we still get bagels if no one got laid
I know it doesn't seem right, but sometimes, bagels are just flat out called for.
I just made a drug deal 100% through snap chat
I feel like an involuntary Mother Theresa. I DON'T WANT TO BE ABSTINENT!
Before consuming her Waffle House she did a few deep breaths and cleared the table to "prepare herself for this"
Just got hit on by a 28-year old, quadraplegic, triple-cancer-survivor redneck. Now updating bucket list to meet newfound standards.
Any luck with the purse?
No, though I did find her weed. Also her sons name is King. I'm uncertain how I feel about that
Randomize
