Exactly. All of us sinners go to hell and get nothing while all of the goody two shoes get to go to heaven where its all pink floyd, lasers, and pot.
Buying weed on Christmas. Gotta love Jewish drug dealers
Homeless guy on the metro is drinking beer out of a coke bottle. Hello friend.
Woke up to a bouquet of flowers in my toilet bowl. Drunk hubby loves me.
does she really think making her boyfriend delete me on facebook is going to magically stop us from hooking up?
i wasnt laughing because you were puking, i was laughing because three yards away there was a couple seriously getting it on
continuing my moment killer tradition in the best possible way
I hope our bodies realize that workaholics starts tomorrow and will be well enough to handle the hell we are going to put them through. amen.
Next time I feel awkward in a situation I'm going to just yell "free bird!!!!" Like some redneck at lynyrd skynyrd show
Someone snapchat me a pic of you topless laying on the bar with Scotty pouring a bottle of tequila down your throat. IT'S NOT EVEN ELEVEN YET.
School starts next week
I know he's gay. But if he touches my vagina I'm human centipeding his face. Sorry not sorry
She kept giving the uber driving directions and we all thought they were wrong so we'd send him the other way. Turns out she wasn't guiding us home, but to the half gallon that she hid in the bushes on the way to the bar.
anyways, do you want to make more embarrassing memories that im bound to remind you about later and laugh about?
I feel like that xmas present negates everything we were taught as little girls. Putting out DOES pay. God bless us everyone
I just talked to him. no worries he had the same fears you did this morning and smelled the dryer to make sure. you officially did not pee in there haha
we woke up when the front wall of the house caught fire.
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