yeah well you didnt even puke from the alcohol. we cut you off and went to huck finn's and told you that the "irish cream" coffee creamers had baileys in it, so you shot down like eight of them and puked all over the floor. it was great. we cheered you on and everything
i can't help myself.. i am just so in love with the kitchen manager.
...he was wearing JNCO shorts.. i'm pretty sure i saw the dragon.
Passed out on a playground for a while before trying to break into the elementary school. Erica thought her captain tasted like cat food, so she poured her bottle into her cat's dish and proceeded to eat it like cereal.
You win. Erica always eats cat food.
Just witnessed a fat girl fall off the treadmill, pop a medicine ball, and drink coke out of a water bottle all in one workout.
I made him hve sex with me in the elevator so that I could put my finger down in never have I ever.
This place doesnt have redbull or serve shots. Its like they are at war with fun.
I owe you 20 bucks. My blood work did show liver damage.
In your defense, I really thought capturing that alligator would have been a lot more awesome and a lot less tragic.
RIP Mr Bojangles.
My 7 yo sister is trying to talk my mom into buying her a strawberry margarita. Happy Cinco de Mayo.
so the kid in line in front of me at walmart just bought roses and a Plan B pill. Happy Valentines Day.
The party was Hollywood themed and I won an oscar for "finest ass in a leading role"
In hindsight, I probably should not have let the waiter give me a chiropractic adjustment on my neck last night.
Turns out that Irishman put my panties under his pillow afterward. Thanks?
sitting in a shitty karaoke bar playing pokemon go and drinking a mimosa. how is your sunday night
I need my sock, sombrero, maracas, and I just heard I had a light saber, if thats the case...i want that back too
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