Call it a failed empirical study as to whether drugs would make her more interesting. or at least better in bed.
Drawing dicks in the frost on people's windshields is a rare joy I allow myself while walking to my 8 AM class.
I know we had a good night last night because his turtle was half asleep chewing on the used condom.
he was wearing ninja turtle pajamas and he STILL got laid. who the fuck is this guy?!
I need to stop smoking. I just talked to corn.
Like hey, "you just spent $135k to go to a nobody law school to drive a mini van, be a dj, live in a smalllll ass apartment that smells like cats and your girlfriend fucks other guys."
I have a surprise for you
Is it drugs? I want drugs. Or a puppy!
you are not my drinking buddy, you are my drinking enemy.
And now I'm drinking leftover wine in the grad lounge because fuck my life
I am trying to take a picture of a man in a wheelchair trying to ship a michael jackson portrait
I witness him finger a girl behind the dj decks yet I'm still going to meet up with him. Wtf is my life
So you're mad that I let you go home with the guy with soft hands but yet you can't understand that I was just trying to help you
he yelled at me like a drill sergeant while I quickly tried to take off my pants
I've had more orgasms than showers this week.
so the casino kicked my ass last night, i'm pretty sure i hit a new level of hungover....just showered with my sunglasses on because the bathroom light is too bright
Randomize
