Nakedness is not a toga. Just sayin
we hooked up on one of my student's desks last night...i can't decide if i'm ashamed or massively proud of myself
dude you teach first grade wtf
just a heads up, there may or may not be a mailbox full of the leftover beer on the table in your basement.
considering how much of last night I don't remember and the amount of ones laying on my desk right now, it's safe to say I'm concerned
I want something that's relevant to him banging her right after I did. Like "runner-up"
she always winds up in the cupboards its nothing new.
Found a dirty envelope on my seat w ur name and $122.50 written on the front. Nothing inside but what looks like dirty pine needles
He told me since I'm into organics I should know his meat is known locally for its quality and hes hand raised it since age 13.
Is it too much to ask that I wake up one morning with out a pic of your dick as my wallpaper??
Dude. He almost took three different girls home, all while dressed up as Amy Winehouse. If he goes as Kurt Cobain next weekend, we're screwed.
Officially locked in my status as an indifferent millennial by downloading Tinder.
WTF DOES CAROLINE HAVE GLASS IN HER FACE
The two of us went back to your place, had sex, peed in cups, then i went home. Literally all i know
The wine is franzia the food is cheese puffs there is a canoe full of beer and the andre glasses are mason jars glued to candle sticks. i shit you not. Best. Wedding. Ever.
i dunno but you just looked at him said "youre making me really wet" and straight pissed your pants
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