so im watching realhousewives of jersey with my mom. she just said they werent really rich bc they were doing their own makeup.
Holy shit! This guy had his hands and feet handcuffed and was scooting across the interstate and we almost hit him because it was so dark. I hate Louisiana.
It's sad really how 5 am brings with it a distinction from drunken to pathetic.
Would the plural word for douche be deese? "Look at these deese bags"?
Are you high?
Who the hell poured a whole pouch of Capri Sun down my throat last night?
you can't tell me it's over and send me pics of you and your cat?
Just got convinced to trip sit for a pack of cigarettes and a burrito. Let the games begin
He is currently tell his hat to go free. Like he has it sitting on the table just waiting for it to take off. When he's not looking I'm gonna throw it off the balcony and tell him it's flying
I SMOKED SO MUCH I SKIPPED A DAY.
Who knew wearing a toga outside would provide for and infinite amount of dick to choose fron
dave might be using McDoubles to pay for dances
he has gotten at least 7 lap dances out back
Pretty sure we ruined a bachelorettes life last night
I don't know how a coffee date turned into road head. But hey
i just saw a man in the grocery, sitting on the floor, eating out of a galon sized tub of macaroni salad. We need to get on his level.
Just got up.... With the club stamp on my ass.... How did it got there????
He was calculating the number of ceiling tiles when I was on top it was fucking rain man.
Randomize
