man, i hate rosetta stone. i wanted to impress this girl with italian last night but all i could say were things like "a blue airplane" and "he is wearing a white shirt"
i just realized i've been trying to levitate the potatoe chip out of her hand for the past ten minutes. i think i smoked to much.
Going to Kmart high is like jumping in a time machine back to the 80s
somethin' about having sex in my parents bed makes me feel like l'm finally an adult.
champagne bombs. Yes, i think that is where things may have gotten out of control.
She threw up on me during morning sex and now Im pretty sure I just saw a woman die at 7-eleven. This is way too much for a Monday morning
just so you know... i was wasted last night, but the evening is coming back to me in flashes... i made you eat gravy last night, didn't i?
You had a towel around you and you called it your shot bib.
I can't wait for round whatever # we're on tonight.
I had to have my mom pick me up from the party and the windows lock was on so when I went to projectile vomit out the window it wouldn't roll down and it splashed back at my face.
Def just threw up beer then brushed my teeth with some randos toothpaste now back to drinkin beer
I've decided that it's a bad thing. But I've also decided that I don't give a fuck.
Even with help how did you paint a bullseye around your asshole?
It was a tough decision either lay in bed or go to work and lay in the stockroom
havent showered in 2 days. just Febrezed my balls in the car before going into a movie alone with a 40 of Guinness.there isn't a word in English for how single I am.
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