I accidentally burped into my bong.
but there are maragaritas for $3 so that was all i needed to hear
just did awkward shuffle by the bagels in the dining hall at 7:30 AM with a kid i've hooked up with. goodbye freshman year.
THERE ARE SO MANY GREAT DICKS IN THE WORLD. HOW DID I NOT DISCOVER THIS SOONER!?
so i may have indirectly taught my 13 year old campers how to give blowjobs.
pretty sure that drunk girl we saw climbing the stairs is now DJing this club....
That's the last time I get in a car with six rappers headed to god knows where.
I'm going to avoid eye contact because my old high school English teacher is not who I feel like seeing after I just had a dick in my mouth
I'm also sorry that I ate your chicken sandwich while you were throwing up....
i think the realest test of our friendship is how hot your sister looks right now
He asked if I was alright. I said "Yeah, I'm just an incapacitated ball of orgasmic bliss right now."
I haven't gotten dressed in 4 days. God bless you, unemployment.
so apparently over the course of the night my roommate and i had sex in exactly the same spot. ps the downstairs sink needs cleaning.
He just flipped the beer pong table and set the ceiling fan on fire things are about to get crazy
spent the night holding naked strippers up for keg stands and doing endless amounts of body shots. good game 8am final exam.
whats an extra semester when you've already been in college for 6 years?
Randomize
