So I used to make fun of texas a lot, then I got here and I found a place where I could get my tequila in a to go cup with a straw and I realized that this is the only place I ever want to be
i ordered 12 mcnuggets at mcdonalds and ended up getting 20. for free. miracles really do happen when your high.
She tried to lure me back to her house by saying she had "real" pizza.
Our kitchen sink faucet is leaking, so I set a pitcher under it to catch water for Kool-Aid tomorrow rather than turn on the faucet. The environment owes me.
Idk yet. Trying to convince him to get a phoenix bird tattoo first
I don't know which is worse, the fact that he can say will you fuck me in so many languages or that I'm turned on because of that
I woke up in confetti... confetti and shame
I just drank beer out of an old Vicodin bottle hoping to catch some residue. That's how finals week is going
I worked all year for this tax return. I deserve to get my nipples pierced.
Ugh, I should just give up, and fuck him in a parking lot, and shave my head and walk naked through the streets of King's Landing.
New Serial podcast is out. We can listen to it tonight instead of having sex.
I'm so sad at the lack of dick in my life I am going to get sauced and make rice krispy treats
I'm pretty sure even the managers want me to show up hungover my last day, it would be negligent and disrespectful to do otherwise
I remember reading the word "lift" so I did. The alarn went off, and I thought to myself "what dumbass pulls the fucking fire alarm?" and then I realized it was me...
i fucked his best friend. once right next door to him. i'm pretty sure that could be called sweet revenge.
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