My goal for the party is to get everyone in a diaper. Reasonable?
I don't know what kind of drugs you were on last night but you kept trying to highlight my face because you said I was important
Just mixed vicodin and mucinex. This cold just got fun.
just lying in bed drinking beer with a straw waiting for motivation. why?
We used the solo cup bag for her hair tie. Desperate times call for desperate measures.
I can't stream porn because Xbox live is taking all the Internet. I thought having a male roommate would make life easier.
You ass. You're not the one who bought me flowers, so obviously you will not be the recipient of the blow job of gratitude.
I don't want a mention or even a whisper of a Shakespeare Festival by that or any other name including, but not limited to, a fucking Renaissance Fair. Are we clear? It will be a DEALBREAKER .
Ask her if it hurt when she broke through earths crust as she ascended from hell
He's a loser but she says we just don't see the good stuff about him. It's like she's dating the Charlie Brown Christmas Tree.
he was high. i was rolling face. we were both wearing grateful dead t shirts. at that point it's like we had no choice but to fuck
If I get a 4.0 I am doing SO much cocaine.
Welp, just took a tab of acid and cracked one of three bottles of champagne... Mondays ¯\\_(ツ)_/¯
So our night ended with 6 cruisers, a fire truck, and an ambulance. Also, lots of blood. How was yours?
So I'm never gonna get to see you again?
Hopefully.
Randomize
