I've been at work for less than an hour and have pooped twice already. That's what happens when you start sleeping with your roommate and don't want to use the bathroom at home anymore.
You need Jesus like Tony Danza needs another hit show.
my FASA form asked what i spent the majority of my 08 earnings on, im tempted to put "booze, blow, & blunts"
This girl named her kid Rainforrest. If I die, just know it was from laughing so fucking hard.
apparently drunk me likes to play hide the puke.. was not a fun time washing all my legos.
Remind me to never go to the bar with your Asian friends again. I need to be able to read or pronounce what I'm drinking.
I just had to tell her that no she really doesnt need to sneak pizza from mcmurrays out in a plastic bag for me later
Trying to grind with crutches was not a success
I peed in my sheets during a dream. Like straight up. A whole new drunk.
I almost stepped in a homeless mans stream of urine as he was peeing. I love this city.
with a cock that big I don't even care that he makes a convincing drag queen
Mate, you pissed in my bed. Then told me to "Just keep swimming"
I had to write an apology letter to my roomate for hotboxing in our bathroom. What a bitch.
Wedding party came into the bar an hour ago. Mother of the bride is a stage five clinger. send help.
I am the oldest one here and I STILL feel like I need an adult. help.
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