There was a ginger baby in the car next to me. I almost totaled my car into the center divide.
I tried to assassinate the ginger baby
question - sack: should she or should she not play with it during foreplay?
I just told the 2nd grade class leprechauns are the children of midgets.
you're kinda like the weird girl from The Breakfast Club after the makeover. i mean you're pretty, but you're still weird as fuck
I don't know which is worse: knowing all the free porn websites, or knowing which days they update their free porn.
This girl told me she was a virgin the other day. I felt like I was talking to a unicorn.
if I want to go home with a foreign boy, please feel free to let me go, sober me gives you permission to let drunken me do it
You ad-libbed two DETAILED rounds of price is right, 1 wheel of fortune, and 1 deal or no deal.... by yourself with sound effects and music included
No. My vagina is not the scapegoat for your poor decisions.
Think about if the incredible hulk and king kong had a retarded baby. That's the sound she made in my ear the entire time I fucked her.
I knew it was going to be good when he took off my bra and I only realized 5 minutes later
Who's the captain of your team? Captain Morgan as usual?
And me
I apparently lifted the young child over my head yelling "Victory!" after that last game of pool, right before doing some Girls Just Wanna Have Fun karaoke.
"Plot twist... I'm straight."
He ate me out while I was wearing a canada goose parka and a dress hand crafted by a seamstress from yellowknife. I came while watching the northern lights. Most arctic orgasm ever.
Randomize
