You drinking a lot?
No.
Define a lot
just walked by a lingerie store, the sign out front, "Specials for Father's Day", in no way is that just not wrong.
make sure you eat your skittles last so when you barf you can barf RAINBOWS.
I'm glad you enjoy my eating disorder so much.
She sang Bad Romance to me. Not really the answer I was looking for.
thank you for reminding me that I stumbled into a public place drunk at 9am wearing a chicks pants.
Just found my old bop it. So many drinking game possibilities
Neighbor who got arrested at 3am just said he'd split the $ with me if I testify as the witness in his police brutality trial. He was also holding a baby and a case of beer.
We poured some Korbel out for our homie Dick Clark.
This amicable friendliness is dull. We either need to start fighting or fucking around. I'll even let you pick.
Just spilled a coffee mug full of scolding hot oatmeal on my bare dick. Hope you're having a good Friday night too.
pls come over. need ride to hospital once taquitos are ready
I think she tried to suffocate me with her tits...she almost succeeded.
I knew it was Christmas when someone handed me a stocking filled with airplane bottles. Ps just woke up 3 days later
You almost got us killed.
YOU’RE WELCOME FOR NAVIGATING YOU TO A ONCE IN A LIFETIME EXPERIENCE.
He is 6'5, went to a Christian school and he's a violinist....I'm going to fuck the jesus right out of him.
Randomize
