It wasn't awkward until he started humming the Rocky theme song in the middle of fucking
Went home with a 29 year old from the bar. Life lesson: 9 year olds stay up late sometimes
He called me from prison intake to wish me luck on my job interview. Somehow that's the most romantic thing that's ever happened to me.
wait a second. did i just remember you the other night referring to your tits as tia and tamara.....
Chasing shots by shotgunning beers is not a good idea.
You came in as I got off work, ordered us jack and cokes. Put them on my tab, and then proceeded to fall asleep on the bar.
Good morning sunshine. Care to hear the riveting tale of Michelle and the Almost Great Night That Ended In An Early Morning of Karma Emptying It's Bowels On Her Guilty Shoulders?
I will refer to it as the penis of glory... he fucked me for 3 and a half hours - and all he needed was a 5 minute power nap in the middle (which he took WHILE INSIDE ME). I plan on staying with him forever
I feel like drug tests are a little less "random" when you are employed by your father.
He had all the grace of a fucking hippo and the emotional control of a five year old
The best part of the night was you shouting "I have to take the LSAT tomorrow" between shots of fireball.
He used pronouns for his penis while sexting. I don't know what I did to deserve this.
I never want to even look at fireball again because it reminds me of the night I died and then lived to tell the tale of how I died.
I HAVE A STRAIGHT LINE ACROSS MY ASS ABOUT THE WIDTH OF A SLIM JIM. ERICA!
I just bumped into this random I hooked up with a few years ago at Steve's party. Talk about a fingerblast from the past!
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