Do you remember getting into a Delorean last night?
Sundresses, hats, and big glasses. That is the greatest trick the devil ever taught women.
My new sobriety test is "how many times do I have to attempt to put toothpaste on my brush"... It takes a while.
you made wolf sounds and yelled "team me" the entire movie
I'm hiding behind a bush in mens clothing next to a ducks crossing sign. There are joggers. Please hurry.
He fell asleep and I'm awkwardly laying here because all I have to wear is my tutu. I'm pretty sure his roommate is going to be back soon so this should be fun. This is my life now. PS. the background of his phone is a picture of his hedgehog.
i'm in that phase where i'll swallow anything except food
he knocked a glass of water onto my bed and then said that he should get to sleep on the dry side because he was "a guest"
It was total unicorn galloping on a fucking rainbow awesome.
DONT YOU DARE DIE YET THERE IS SO MUCH SEX TO BE HAD
Pre-chapter meeting quote: "Why is there a bun literally taped to the shelf? That doesn't even make sense when you're drunk, who does that?"
Me and some girl at the bar just high fived for not wearing bras
Nobody likes ball hair. Not even gay dudes
We put you in the box and you started to cry, that's how high you were.
Bleach your asshole, I'm on my way.
Who is this?!?!
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