In similar news, my cock is bigger than the plane that landed in the hudson.
i think ur clone was at the club last week. she slapped some tall girl in the face who tried to steal her spot on the podium. i dont know if ur like her, but she seemd like a ninja badass with superpowers
It was annoying to wait 4 hour for him to be inside for 5 seconds.
My coke dealer 411'd my work number just to see how I was doing and gave me his new number. He must miss my business
This theraflu would make for a great margarita.
I can make a sudafedarita
You can't buy drugs with a ziplock bag full of quarters, chuck-e-cheese coins, and a starbucks giftcard.
watch me
He tried to spell out "PROM?" in his cum on my stomach during sex. It was terrible
well did you say yes?
We left his house because I forgot how to drink water, I was just holding it in my mouth and then spitting it out, needless to say I don't remember the sex.
He's an acquired taste, like S&M or those crunchy things they put in salads
Croutons?
Pro: she asked me to be a bridesmaid. Con: i only have about nine months to get over a phobia of midget strippers.
It felt as if we were fucking on a sea of baby feet and morgan freemans face hair
You are a lesbian wizard with red hair. You are willow
Being in the club with your moms drunk friends > having a healthy relationship with your mom
By talk things out did he mean have passionate angry sex?
I just had a man tell me he was going to think about me when he was fucking his wife tonight. This is my proudest moment as a gay.
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