I know, he also has a fancy car to make up for his tiny penis
So you know how craigslist used to have an "erotica" section? And how after you click on a link it changes a darker color? And how Dad stays up really late most nights?
Oh god... well at least he's gettin some. Mom's a prude.
she just took a shower. i'll probs go down on her to encourage shower taking. it's like pavlov, you know?
I kind of want you to get arrested just so I could frame an avatar mugshot.
He's yummy.
HE'S GAY. AND 40.
Irrelevant.
I just hit the bong during the whole bday song then blew the candles out with my exhale.
I will be your sherpa up the mountain of gayness
Oh Brad. Your poor brain, always being ignored for your penis and crazy women.
How many other adults do you think have slept naked under the Winnie the Pooh blanket sober?
You declared your undying love to a drag queen, then proceeded to puke into the poor man's purse.
Let me be the vehicle for you to live out your slutty half-gay dreams.
I woke up with a cutting board and a bag of uncooked pasta next to me.
He did 5 five hand stand push ups and took off his shirt for a barbarian flex. Some girl took off her shirt and threw it at him
I sent my roommate a text from MY phone that said, "I don't know where my phone is." Must've been a good night.
Every time I try to do something productive I end up searching ghost porn.
Randomize
