At least I can take solace in the fact that with 8 billion some odd people in the world, at least one of them is shitting in their own car right now.
I just need someone to hold me and tell me i dont turn boys gay
Ryan just walked out of his frat house with a case of beer, a 6 dollar bottle of vodka, and a pillow. He's good to go.
I say we get drunk before the exam tomorrow. At least then we have a valid excuse for failing.
Just picked them up. It took 6 holes and a handle of rum to evolve from golf to a demolition derby.
There's an entire pit crew of cart boys surveying the golf cart destruction.
Idk. Each time I ask him about double teaming a woman with Dennis Rodman he just giggles. We will never know what to believe.
So is there some kind of punch card you and I get to use every time we fuck a chick with a cast?
I THINK I JUST JOINED A GANG. PLEASE PICK ME UP.
Paris has not been good for her. Everytime she has a one night stand from a different country, she buys a mini flag and tapes it to her wall with the others
In other news: I found out that my mom used to fuck my newest fuck buddy's dad when they were in school.
May 25th. Drunk Laser Tag party to celebrate our bdays. May 26th. Mushrooms at Chattanooga Aquarium. Damn
you ran up to the police and said "fuck the police shit we living in hell ". Then you dropped your Margarita and said "Darby Out" lol
Being in the club with your moms drunk friends > having a healthy relationship with your mom
When I watch porn and jerk off like 95% of the time Iron Chef is on in the background...
worse hangover than the time you almost threw up in a plant in front of your daycare kids?
...I don't remember telling you about that but yes
Randomize
