im too high. i could barely wash my hair, let alone handle a whole shower
something about eating while taking a crap just doesn't seem safe to me.
at least franzia made me throw up pretty colors.
This could be one of the worst things i've done... The background of her phone is her and her boyfriend.
I just watched nsync videos for the past half hour and you could totally tell lance bass was gay in all of them
By the way, playing "guess who I had sex with last night" was a great way to start a Thursday, or any day
Oh thank the gods of upholstery, i thought that was never coming out...
I think I'm just gonna be a cat and wear slutty black clothes with some eyeliner on my face and pretend my ears got stolen by a drunk guy
Also just throwing this out there I don't think anyone who brings another girl back to your bed to share with you can qualify as a frigid bitch
Hey, you remember years ago when you told me you would give me a kidney?
Usually I just ask myself "have I been naked here?" If the answer is no I correct the situation.
This guy kept trying to use "see? I'm clean. Cleared by the plasma place today." as a pick up line. This is not okay.
Man I sound like a slutty Mormon
were you aware we were supposed to be taking care of her hamster this weekend?
But yeah, I am thinking that "Cake Heresy" will now be a thing
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