No, I'm talking to this Chinese girl. Can't understand a word she's saying, but i think i caught the word vagina a few times.
I would make tea from her tampons just to see her tits
It was like a drunk episode of Dora the Explorer. In English.
Yes I hit her with my car. Yes I gave her a ride home. And yes she gave me her number. What's the problem?
This chic sharing the cab with me just started givin me head. I'll be an extra 5 minutes.
Okay I can't even be mad, I'm in mid-plot to hook up with Michael Phelp's third cousin.
My boobs are feeling quite sensitive so I told them, " you is smart, you is kind, you is important" that should do the trick.
My boyfriend sold my favorite shoes right off my fucking feet last night outside the bar. It might have played a part in our breakup today.
How are you feeling?
I mean, shattered dignity aside, not bad.
It's volleyball. Just do it. You want to look sporty. Save sexy librarian for another day.
Moms love me. I'm the reminder that they need to turn safe search on.
How much weed should I buy my mom for her birthday?
Also my roomates are going to be gone till sunday. Make correct decision here
Quit calling your parents your roomates
I fell out of my bed whilst trying not to move this morning. I AM ADULT
I had ice cream for breakfast two days in a row.
SUPER ADULTS
You said you're gonna end your night with a six pack and awful erotica
Randomize
