Yes, one should always join a cult. At least once.
Funniest shit happened at the grocery store. This kid kept asking his mom for candy over and over and she told him 'daddy said no' and he screamed 'he isn't my dad' so loud everyone in the store was silent it was awesome.
you know how you have to have just the right ratio of chips to sandwich? same goes for pubes.
we'll go far in life on tits alone.
He kissed my cheek and I could smell it the whole way home like shit
I think theres a high possibility i could be flammable.
Got a stripper to howl at my wolf shirt.
During breaking dawn, he leaned over and asked me why she would have to worry about her period since she essentially just married a walking super-absorbant tampon... It was the best way to ruin those movies for me.
Was I holding a cat when you saw me? Because that was the height of that party for me.
I do believe at one point I was dispensing medical advice while wearing your sombrero and a hulk hand
i'm not even sure i have knees anymore. that awesome.
Well his arms broken so they only cuffed his good wrist to his belt. That's how he cast smacked me in custody.
He sent me a pic stitch collage of all the tit pics I had sexted him this month. It was so sweet!
IM GOING TO SIT ON YOUR FACE AND CHANT 'I BELIEVE THAT WE WILL WIN'
Somehow reaching for the flaming hot cheetos ended up in the best sex of my life
Randomize
