Oh and I watched laurens last episode on the hills. its been an emotional day
I woke up around 30 bottles of beer, with a piece of aluminum foil in my hand, that had "you Win" Wrote in sharpie..
Just put the gallon of milk in the microwave. Dad might know im high.
we put a pacifier in your mouth because you kept drunkenly singing country music.
got delayed, meet you at the bar soon, found a shopping cart, i am now getting pushed to the bar by some guy that was peeing in the alley i found the cart in
We aren't really supposed to respect our bodies til our mid twenties.
He's sitting in his room on Facebook with nothing but a pillow covering his crotch. I can't help you at the moment.
I'm pretty sure I'm the first person in the history of this college to rollerblade their walk of shame.
gorilla chasing a banana on crotch rockets. Halloween is getting way too real
So I told him it takes a lot to get me drunk & he said he was the heavyweight champion in college. We high-fived. Obviously I'm the favorite child.
I got frustrated so I just stood up and said take me to bed or lose me forever and banged the first guy who responded show me the way home. Thank you Top Gun.
I dont know how I should feel about you making a 37 year old come visit you and then making him do the walk of shame from your dorm room...through campus
I was really hoping my 420 would involve a lot more weed and a lot less buttholes
I'm pretty sure my roommate is moving out because her cat likes me better
Drink. Fuck. Waffle House. Repeat.
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