Me too. I'd like to spend all next summer high and drunk and riding ponies and boys.
I had a dream that the allstate guy hooked up with flo from the pregressive insurance commercials and she gave birth to the geico gecco. I need to stop taking ambian.
I like how washing the beer bong is now a regular part of washing the dishes.
I found it funny that her boobs actually kinda felt like a bag of sand. the 40 year old virgin should feel better about himself.
so, the parking garage attendent caught us humping in the car. long story short, we have free parking whenever we want! take that abstinence.
P.S, i don't recommend doing keg stands on top of vehicles.
Am I over stepping my bounds if I ask to fuck in your new bathroom?
It has heated floors
struggle bus is officially taking me on a road trip to hell. If this is just the first destination, I'll jump out the fucking window.
She called and said her prescription was refilled. I guess we are dating again.
You're such a good friend. You send me pictures of your boobs when I'm sad. I will always appreciate that.
You came into the club around midnight with a carton of tropicana o.j. & said you were starting a revolution.
I burned my tit while he banged me and it was still the best kitchen sex EVER!!!
You stole my car to go to your boyfriends. Now your parents are fucking in the next room at top volume, and I have no way to escape..thought you should know that the amount of therapy I'll be needing for this is expensive.
You're the best friend ever.
You don’t need a wing man if you have a solid hook up on the pumpkin pie
On cleanup... i've counted 94 solo cups so far.. oh, and i found a miniature top hat in the microwave
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