Stoned at DSW. SO MANY SHOES! THEY'RE FREAKING ME OUT.
Can't imagine what could be worse than pet-naming your penis, but I'll let it go.
Just set a new record on Need For Speed at the arcade. Had to enter Tiger Woods as the name.
where'd the toddler underneathe the beer pong table come from?
She's "scared" of blowjobs, so she just played with it for a while.
Would it be a dick move to report the suite next-door for a noise violation? They're singing Bad Romance off-key and I'm not sure if I can allow that.
I think I might stay on campus instead of going home for thanksgiving and see how many townies I can hook up with and no one will be around to judge
I puked in the revolving door and had to sit down on the escalator. That hungover. It's safe to say people are judging me.
I just saw her take the entire bowl of lime wedges from the bar and pour them all in her purse, and now using the empty bowl as a hat. Waiting for security to come and throw her ass out.
I just yelled at a bunch of girl scouts for yelling "cookies" to loudly. That hungover
I am a figure skater. You should know better than to let me get drunk near any patches of ice during Olympics season.
EXCEPT MY COUSIN SAW MY SEX TAPE!
I've spent hours masturbating before. It's actually my favorite Sunday activity
This is like a walk of shame down memory lane.
So, just how hungover are you?
Not at all, surprisingly.
That has to be your X-Men power.
Randomize
