Did the walk of shame past her kids. I'm younger than one of them.
I know he gets bloody noses a lot...so that explains all the blood...but I'd say the condoms are definitely from a penis.
Is asking my 8-year-old brother if he will make us shot glasses in his ceramics class too far?
I'm sitting in the corner at the bar with a poolstick in case a brawl breaks out. Some crazy shit is going down and I'm trying to show my feathers like a horny peacock.
Well pretty sure I lost 3 of my best friends in one week. Remember when I said I wasn't sure if I was gonna be a better person or a more despicable one in 2012. Despicable wins.
i'm in that phase where i'll swallow anything except food
Today's work quote "if I looked like you, I'd be sitting on everyones face"
The gay is strong with you! You're more concerned about my outfit than my safety.
My g-ma saw your dick-pic and wants you to know I've got a keeper. She says her big whopper died in Korea. Good thing g-pa is still asleep.
you walked onto the street in the middle of the 10K in your thong. it was a whole new kind of expirience.
You know that girl that climbed through my window and got in my bed with me and fucked me? It turns out she was real and has a real boyfriend who is real pissed
Pretty sure my parents just hear me get off from the living room but I feel like they should be proud that I did it without a man honestly.
part of it says your brother mayyyy have put his lips on my vagina
He went down on me and then made me breakfast in bed. He's a man you can bring home to mom.
If he doesn’t slap your ass with his drumsticks, then I don’t wanna hear about it.
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