Good face, no body. And apparently her vagina is related to chewbaca.
Me too. I'd like to spend all next summer high and drunk and riding ponies and boys.
The beer is more important than you right now.
Getting drunk now, but later remind me to tell you how to crash an 8th grade grad party.
Either he was jacking off or having a seizure next to me in bed. Either way, I was too lazy to help.
Too bad you can't keep me under your desk. You'd love that wouldn't you? Massages, blowjobs, and I'd be forced to be quiet all day.
Sex on roller skates
Floating mattress
Tie
I can make a sex schedule on Excel and send it to you guys
You're too young to have this sort of Grizzled Old Drunk In Roadside Bar wisdom.
These beer shits have taken over my entire life.
My FitBit tracked the calories I burned during sex. Hello 2015!
I think I ejaculated my soul out.
He sends me pictures of his dogs and I send him my tits, it's a win win situation
Sorry I peed on your ottoman
If I'm not naked in the back of a cop car having sex by the end of the night, I did something wrong..
Randomize
