I had to remind him that there is no "age exchange rate" between the u.s. and spain, and that 16 will always equal 16
there's a wrestler here in a Ferrari//puma hoodie who is telling girls his win//loss record as a pickup line.
I am full of burrito and curiosity
well this feels familiar. awake at the crack of dawn laying in the fetal position praying for the sweet release of death. i think im done with jager for a while
i cant do it anymore.. every time this girl orgasms she sounds like a motorcycle
So my ex just cheated on her current bf w/me and now there's a car coming to take me to Vegas... Is this really my Thursday night?
I hate you.
Dont forget about the tuna sandwich behind your TV
I'm bringing vagina and cookies. You'll be fine.
I drunk-cried for all conjoined twins everywhere the other day.
fuck it. im taking monday off to do some Jagering.
Breaking into his house to steal the sheets I'd drunk pissed on before he got home was not how I wanted to be spending spring break
It makes no sense at first, you go with it, it's fun and entertaining and then a disaster
Omg. Tonight might be the night I masturbate thinking of a smoothie!
Where is Holly?
Nevermind. i can hear her having sex two doors down
Did you see her happy birthday to emily on facebook? The gist of it is like: hey emily you almost died at birth im glad you didn't. love mom.
Randomize
