O no, u 2 are dating again?
No. I just masturbate furiously to his picture
you thought your tounge was "malfunctioning" because every time u spoke it wouldnt sit still.
i no longer even have beer goggles. i'm pretty sure i blacked out and had beer lasik.
you're letting him buy you a plane ticket...to kentucky...so you can fuck him?
i know. i'm only adding to the interstate sex trade problem.
four loko is officially banned. leave it to the kids from a state school to fuck it up for everyone
Did you leave a blizzard on my porch last night? Or was that someone else giving out a metaphorical threat to me?
you were upstairs in your room looking out your window and saw him puking in your bushes outside. you then proceeded to open the window and sing Come To My Window
Have the decency to NOT HANG YOU'RE USED CONDOM ON THE FOOSEBALL HANDLES! Dickhead.
Was in the middle of a keg stand, the frat guys dropped me, and I broke my nose. My mom didn't enjoy that call from the hospital.
He woke up in a dragon costume, covered in bong water. That was a party we will regret missing.
Every time I start to trust vodka, it does this to me.
SCUSE ME I KNOW YOU DIDNT DO THAT MUCH COKE IN 10 MINUTES
I am so not sober enough to have a 5 minute conversation in Spanish
Youre a wreck. Youll be in your dorm weeping to project runway covered in pizza sauce and smelling of stale beer
He climbed on the counter and announced it was time for something called The Cocktacular and all the girls immediately left. He cockblocked the entire fraternity!
Randomize
