I am at the point in my high where i now know/understand chinese.
yeah. pants. i need to put pants on. i didn't do that last night. big mistake
I swear this girl is like a Cross between Danny Devito and Anne Heche....the Lesbian Years.
My own vomit just splashed me in the face. How's your day going
Yeah I hope so. Definately just saw two freshmen in very authentic togas and cotton ball beards. This new class is stepping it up.
drunk taco night MLK would want it this way.
could you please tell me why you thought vodka soaked band aids were a good idea?
I might come over. Something about you makes me matronly and I have this urge to nurse you back to health with soup and a blowjob
He makes me want to shower. It must be love.
We're using joints as your birthday candles
So the " I'm gay but curious" thing worked. You owe me 50 bucks.
Bitch, he is not your friend and this is not Bravo. Get in this car before you get smacked
And then I fed you egg rolls in bed as you were screaming I'm moving out
Personally, I'm gonna be Sexy Dobby the House Elf.
when you wake up naked in a bed with glowsticks, a rolled ankle, a hangover, and a condom; alone. you wonder shit
Randomize