I don't know if it's her mysterious past or atrocious grammar, but I think I'm in love.
So my professor just changed my Final to 7:45am on May 6th. Shouldn't a Spanish professor understand the implications of Cinco de Mayo???
"Students using Axe body spray to light selves on fire" is a real headline from a real newspaper. WHY AREN'T WE DOING THIS RIGHT NOW?
Everyone is hammered wasted already...young, old, the dying, babies...we got them all
Let's just rave with boners that last for hours
I'm pretty sure I'm the first person in the history of this college to rollerblade their walk of shame.
Just to an Octoberfest and a sex party. Nothing wild.
Dude. Stop sending me lines from Hungry Like the Wolf
You were cuddling with an eight iron and I was eating a fajita completely ignoring your presence.
where will you be at 9:30 tonight?
piledriving you in your roommate's bed?
I just woke up to a ten minute voicemail of you sobbing about the X-Men. Stop getting drunk and watching Marvel movies.
BUT WOLVERINE IS SO TORMENTED AND JUST WANTS TO BE LOVED
Can I borrow your google glasses to make a sex tape?
He wanted to watch the vow, cuddle, and not have sex. An upgrade is in order.
I thought I would be a proper lady and put my spare panties in a ziplock
I have jizz, in my hair. I'm sitting in class with jizz. In. My. Hair. I need to make better life choices.
Randomize
