Just saw a car with license plate GYPSYS that was full of gypsies
She is totally STD
Is it a bad omen that my phone auto corrects dtf to STD
fuck you guys, stop putting fake babies in my car the cops came again.
Made a joint out of my Yale rejection letter. Life is grand.
What's the protocol on showing a video of me sucking the life out of my ex in order to prove beyond a doubt that I give great head???
Apparently the last thing they remember of me was me stumbing into a bathroom, then falling out 5 minutes later clutching a butter knife repeating "ketamine goes in my face hole"
its fine. mom just made me chug a long island. and made a crying face when i balked. we'll talk tomorrow.
Going to the market. I need some nachos and a serious re-evalution of my life.
Ya well here is the deal with last night, it was the Biggest shit show we have ever co-stared in.
Yup. We're now banned from TWO of our nation's finest zoos.
Dude she said she'd let me snort a line off her ass now I just have to wait for them to break up
There is a drunken, assless white chick here at this bar wearing a shirt that says "REAL WOMEN TWERK FOR JESUS". I have officially had it with our generation.
Ended up in some house where this dude has a $1200 leopard cat
I was gonna jerk off, but then I thought about that movie last night and it killed that idea. I have serious boner trauma.
I wanna get to the point where I can just send a question mark and get an exclamation point in response
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