While sitting in bed naked eating ramen and watching the colbert report I realize why random sex happens.
does my mom think that having an ed hardy lighter is going to get her laid?
You compared your dick to a twizzler. In no way, shape, or form is that a turn on.
I'm sorry that spending new years with you was fucking my boyfriend in your bathroom multiple times
we need to drink more beer. the fridge wont close.
No, I don't just love you because you have big boobs. I just wouldn't visit as often.
I gave his parents a candle as a thanks for letting me hang out there all the time. Which i guess is more accurately a thanks-for-letting-me-fuck-your-son candle
I mean I don't object to weird looking penis as long as it gets the job done. I just need to get it in. I'm gonna be humping chairs soon.
I know. It's cray. Crayon. Crayolaaaaa.
Just got flashed by an entire bus of girls in school uniforms. We then had to wait beside each other at a light. It was awkward.
It was a shot marathon. It only ended because we werent drinking in our house apparently we walked into the nieghbors. When they got home thy were soooooo pissed.
So then we ended up at a bar full of navy SEALs and I got one of them to take his shirt off, then I felt him up
I feel like 31-year old me is 21-year old me's hero
If I'm going to keep blacking out this much I need to start taking more pictures.
I just saw a woman give her infant whiskey tits. About ten minutes ago she was doing shots, and now she's breast feeding. Whiskey. Tits.
Is it too early to start looking for freshmen penises to corrupt with our liquor and yoga pants?
I was just wondering the same thing! Gotta be any day now
Randomize
