Dude, Her having kids just means she puts out.
Fail #1 I puked off the balcony onto the balcony below us and when I tried to pour water on it in the morning to wash it off it just went all over their deck. Sorry room 1342 but welcome to Jamaica
you kept telling her you'd make a great step-dad while cuddling her and rubbing her back...
the point of no return was when you "drugged" his drink with glitter. face-planting on his dick was beyond.
And I feel like pitchers of margaritas accidentally make it down your throat a lot.
I mean, the lady at the Mexican restaurant insisted. She said she would win a prize if she sold another pitcher before noon. And plus I got to wear a sombrero
i want us to warm up up with us making out while i lay you down touching and feeling all the spots you know are going to get you warmed up. im gonna move down your body kissing every inch as i move down past your panty line ;)
Did you watch the carolina game tonight?
Your argument isn't valid... just because I test the waters doesn't make me gay. Makes me versatile. And who doesn't love that!
So doing the math I dated almost 2 of me in penises. Like, if I you layed them out lengthwise it would be 2 times my height.
At least Shia Labeouf would encourage me to do this drinking contest
Listen, I've got balls in my face can I call you back
I grabbed the pretzel bag with my toes last night. I think that day of yoga had paid off.
someone stole my phone at the bar last night, naturally, it led to me waking up in the bartender’s bed
I walked into your room and you were wearing party beads, a foam finger, and reading the dictionary. Good night?
If you are refering to the duckling living in your bath...I can explain, but before I do, can you throw a peice of bread in there?
My favorite part was making you pull out your lucky steelers vibrator and show it to jerome bettis at the bar
Randomize
