You're mentally unstable and I would hate to be you
I think I'd rather ejaculate tabasco. You'd have to scrape out guacamole.
An alarm set every 45 minutes saying "FATTY" and one every afternoon saying "CASPER" every day until spring break is a foolproof plan to being bikini ready
fuck that im pissed. when I come back im ripping forskin off.
You showed the cops outside of the bar your boobs and then decided to go apologize to them. They admitted that the reason they hung out there was because of girls like you.
I just found him singing into an empty paper towel roll while microwaving an empty ice cream carton. I'm gonna run away now.
He is juggling broken glass botttles, I think its time to cut him off...
I just found our entire wall-to-wall from September 2006 printed out and clipped... it's 49 pages. Blackout me is so considerate of bored-at-work me
Oh my god, I am the best RA ever. I'm teaching my freshman girls how to deep throat on bananas as a group bonding activity. I'm making the religious ones eat them for potassium.
I had to photo shop your nipple piercings. that was extremely awkward.
I tried to twerk on a barn in 3 inch heels at a party last night and nose dived into mud. These were all new friends. I'm probably not allowed back. Cool.
Stop calling my penis "Fat Jesus"
Attention, i sprayed windex on me to disguise the scent of sex and regret off my clothes from last night
I could not add him. He gets 5 likes on Instagram.
Who brings a stripper to breakfast at the dining hall? What was the plan? Impress her with his meal plan?
Randomize
